A Much Needed Date

Derek and I went on a date last night! It was wonderful! The food was great and the company even better (don't judge for the cheese). A good friend watched the kids while Derek and I got some time to ourselves.

After dinner we went to Starbucks and got a coffee. We sat there and just talked. There were no interruptions! Nobody asking for more juice, no diapers to change, no wiping mouths, or worrying about somebody spilling what was in their cup.

It felt like it did when we were first married and we had the luxury of being selfish with our time. When we got home, I felt energized, relaxed, and happy. It was all much needed.

On a side note: if you could please pray that we find a home for our German Shepherd, I would appreciate it. I had a lady lined up, but she misunderstood me and wants to keep him-forever. I'm not quite willing to relinquish my hold on the Mosey bear.

God bless!

It's Hard To Be Honest

I'm a pretty honest person. I always have been. The first time I said a cuss word, I went home and told my mom I said it.

It's a lot harder to be honest when it comes to character flaws. I have tons of them (no, really I do). One of them being I spend way too much time on the computer. This is really hard to admit.

Today has been a day full of disobedience and discipline. I've felt like all I've done is yell/spank(yes I do that)/pray with them and repeat. To escape it I get on the computer which only makes things worse because I neglect some of their bad behavior. I know they act up to get my attention too. Writing this makes me feel like a terrible mother. I just don't know how to break the cycle.

I make excuses about why I'm on here and blah blah blah. I get my "chores" done, I reason to myself, but it's the quality of day to day life that is suffering. I could do more around the house and play more with my kids etc...

Please pray that I would not be consumed with the computer. That I would enjoy my children and be more active with them during the day. I know I would see a significant improvement in their behavior.

I'm out of words for now. This post, however, does not convey how bad I feel about this.

An Answer to Prayer

I thought I'd let you all know that Derek told Grandma Kay last night that we are moving. He didn't tell her when we are moving (I can't believe how not into details men are), but she was generally o.k. with it. She knows that we need to go where Derek can get a good job and right now that isn't Butte. I'm sure there will be tears and heart sickness in the future, but God really answered a prayer where she was concerned.

I'm going to try to make these last few weeks great for her and the kids. I want to give her every opportunity to see the kids before we move.

Another prayer is that God will soothe Alexander's tender heart when we move. He is very close to her and will miss her terribly. He has gone before us on all of our concerns and I'm sure He will with this one too.

I guess I shouldn't be amazed at His goodness, but I am. I can't put into words right now how much I am in awe of Him and the works He has done in the last week.

Thank you again for all of your prayers.

Quiet My Anxious Heart

Some prayer would be appreciated for me and my family this week. Derek has an interview with a company on Thursday. The position is in Washington which is great because I miss my family and church family so much.

However, we want to go where God wants us. Please pray that our hearts would not be anxious in this time. That we would be wise. That Derek would be safe when he travels to the interview.

I appreciate all of your prayers and thank you for listening.

My Dad Is Coming!

My Dad is coming for a visit tomorrow. He is moving from Colorado back to Seattle. About a year ago my Grandpa died so my Dad moved to Colorado to be closer to my Grandma. He couldn't find work so he is moving back to Seattle. He is going to stop here and stay the night on his way back to Washington state.

I'm excited because I haven't seen him in a year and he hasn't seen Asher yet. Derek and I have been talking to my Dad about the Lord for a long time now. I firmly believe that someday he will make a commitment to the Lord. I know he is close, but there are some things he has to get past.

Please pray that God will give us the right words to speak and that my Dad and Step mom will have safe travels.

Sadness, Discouragement, And Some Regret

I'll go with the first word: Sadness. Sadness because I miss my family so much. I miss the big gatherings and all the kids running around. I want my kids to have kids their age to play with. I want to be there while my sister is pregnant and support her. I want my Mom over for dinner. I want to watch her play with my kids, see their milestones, and watch them grow. I want to go to church and have friends and family around that care about what you are going through.

I know this is a lot of "I wants". I know how this sounds. Trust me, I do. We've been in Montana now for almost 3 years. In all that time we haven't found a church to go to. And not for a lack of trying. I was doing pretty good about my family until recently. I really do feel that God had us move here, but it's been a struggle the entire time. I would go through it all again though. Because I've done so much growing in the Lord. I've also grown as a wife and mother. As of late I've felt that maybe we are supposed to move back. I've been trying not to be biased though. I'm thinking, "is it because I want to move back?" or does God really want us to move? I keep giving my will to Him and asking that His will be done.

The second word: Discouragement. I'm discouraged because Derek has applied for two positions in Washington and didn't get either of them. Now goes the question game with God. Are You telling us we aren't supposed to move? Or is there a better position for him there? Can You please show us what to do?

Do all Christians go through these things? Or am I an immature one? I feel like an immature Christian because I can't tell God wants right now. Even though I really do feel like we are supposed to move back sometime, the when is the unknown.

The final word: Regret. I regret that I've spent the last week sad and discouraged. I regret that my Easter was spent sad and discouraged instead of rejoicing on what the day was supposed to mean to me as a Christian. I regret that I've been selfish and self centered. I regret that I've ignored the duties of being housewife this week while I struggled with all of these feelings.

In short, please pray for me. Please pray that I keep God the center of my focus. Pray that we will know His will when it is presented to us. And finally please pray that I will accept and be happy about the time we have here in Montana no matter how long that may be.