Another Not So Secret Struggle

I struggle in my prayer life. I want to pray for everybody...really I do. I want to pray for the missionaries, underground churches, the President, the troops etc...but I forget. Embarrassingly I mainly pray for myself, Derek, my kids, and my immediate family.

How do you manage your prayer life? Do you have a system or sorts? I would love to hear about it.

Again any tips and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks and God bless!

Master Your Tongue

As you've noticed the title of my blog is "Beautiful In God's Eyes", but I've not actually read the book. *Hangs head* I started, but felt so condemned at how I didn't measure up that I quit reading. Well, today I started reading it again. The part that resonated with me today was

Master your tongue:

• Speak less often (Proverbs 10:19)
• Speak only after we think about what we're going to say (Proverbs 15:28)
• Speak only what is sweet and pleasant (Proverbs 16:21)
• Speak only what is wise and kind (Proverbs 31:26)

I don't do ANY of these things. God laid on my heart today as I was praying that I tear other women down because of my insecurities as a wife and mother. I am by no means excusing this wretched behavior.

Do you find yourself doing this too? Do you say things like "I can't believe she would feed her child that?" or "She should spank them more" or "I can't believe she buys prepared food" or "Look how dirty her house is" Isn't it awful? I feel awful just writing it and even worse admitting that I think those things. Instead of spending the energy criticizing these woman I could be spending that energy praying for them!

This book is amazing and I'm only chapters in. I know it's a process becoming this woman, but I'm excited to know that I'm becoming a jewel in my husband's crown.

If you are looking to become a more Godly wife, mother, and person than I strongly recommend Elizabeth George's Beautiful in God's Eyes.

My Secret Struggle Is Not So Secret Anymore

It's not a secret anymore because I am going to share it with you. I'm going to share because I would like lots of feedback.

I struggle with my devotions. Oh how I want them. Oh how I long to have that wonderful intimate time with my Lord to be revitalized and nourished. But every time I sit down I don't know what to do. I pray and then just sit there.

Do you guys have any devotional books that you use? This is weighing heavy on my heart. I would appreciate any tips or suggestions you may have.

Thanks and God bless!

Tired...So Tired

Derek went back to work today. Grandma Kay and my neighbor have the kids today so I can rest. The only thing I keep thinking is how much stuff there is to do, but I'm making myself take it easy.

The surgery was a success, Yay! Being in the hospital was absolutely horrible. I'm not exaggerating either. The nausea and vomiting was almost more than I could take, but God was faithful. There were a couple of times I felt I was going to die so I whispered a prayer to God for deliverance and He was merciful.

I was sharing a room with a crazy woman. She was on the wrong floor I tell you. Instead of using her call button for the nurse she would SCREAM "NURSE! NURSE!" The nurse would come in and she's say something like "I'm thirsty" She would also call people in to tell them that she had an envelope full of money that she knows they stole from her. She talked about somebody clearing her house out and her mother dying and the house being sold. It was all pretty incoherent rambling, I asked to be moved so I could get some sleep and they did end up moving me.

The left side of my lower lip is weak. If feels like when you come home from the dentist and your lip is still numb. My left eye is weak as well, it doesn't blink very well. I'm sure I am painting you a very nice picture about the way I look. Derek says I look cute as ever, but I know he is obligated to say things like that-he is my husband after all. Did I mention my ear is numb? That's a really weird feeling. I can't believe how tired I've been.

I'm not complaining-really. The doctor was happy about the way it went and he is pretty certain it is benign.

So far there hasn't been any sweating or crying when I'm hungry so that's a good sign.

Goodbye For A Little Bit

Well, it's finally almost here---my surgery. It's getting done on Friday. I'm starting to get anxious, but I'm trusting the Lord. He is my Heavenly Father and He will take care of me. I would appreciate any prayers you could throw my way.

I probably won't blog tomorrow, I have a lot to do since I probably won't feel like it after my surgery. My to do list for tomorrow includes, but is not limited to:

1. Laundry
2. Bathroom
3. Dishes-yuck!
4. Vacuum
5. Organize my clutter
6. Set out the kids' clothes (so Brian can dress them on Friday)

Brian (my brother-in-law) is coming to stay the night tomorrow (Thursday) since I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. He is taking Friday off from work to be with kids while Derek and I are at the hospital. Isn't that nice of him? I'm sure he would appreciate any prayers you could throw his way.

Well, goodbye for now. I'll let you know how it all goes.

Weird Dream

I haven't been that nervous for my surgery on Friday. I feel more inconvienced than anything. This is disrupting my entire life and I feel annoyed.

Last night I had a dream that they intebated me (I learned that from Grey's). I ended up swallowing the tube and I was choking. It was so real that when I woke up I felt out of breath from my "choking" experience and pain in my throat from the tube.

I guess even though I don't feel nervous I am and it's coming out in my dreams.

Just thought I'd share my funny dream with you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I have the most wonderful husband ever. I don't usually brag on my blog, but today I am going to be a blogger bragger.

Last Saturday Derek came home from work with a beautiful card for me. It was wonderful, I love surprises like that. This morning he surprised me again with a Valentine's card and a box of chocolates.

He knows how to make me feel special.

That's me bragging on my blog. Hope your Valentine's Day is very special!

I Got A Dirty Look Today

You know those people that go through the express lane at the store with more than the allotted 15-20 items? I always think that maybe they can't read or just don't care.

Well, after today I will think twice before I judge those people. I went to the store and I had more than 15 items so I was in my appropriate lane. The checker from the express lane grabbed my basket and took me over there because it was kinda slow. A lady got behind me and was shooting me dirty looks the entire time the checker was ringing my order up. I tried smiling, but it had no affect on her. She kept looking at my groceries and then at me.

She probably thought I couldn't read or didn't care.

The Perfect End To A Terrible Day

Derek and I got invited to a dinner last night. A free dinner! The radio station sponsors this dinner for businesses that spend money for advertising.

It was a blast! I got some grown-up conversation and I got to dress nice. Everybody was so nice. I was a little nervous, but everything turned out fine.

If you read my blog you know that yesterday wasn't the best day ever, but in the end it turned out o.k.

I love that God knows what we need. He is good!

It's Gonna Be One Of Those Days

I can tell because it's only a quarter to 10 and I'm already frustrated. The kids are fighting with each other, they are getting into things they know they aren't supposed to, and poor little Asher doesn't feel good so he's fussy.

I'm praying for strength and patience, but I don't feel it. Right now all I want to do right now is drop the kids off somewhere and go for a run. I know it sounds horrible, but I guess that's how I feel right now.

There is something about running for me that calms me. It's also a time that it's just me and God. It's quiet and solitary, something I don't get very often.

Pray for me please. I need it.

Two Recipes I Love

Here are the links to two recipes I absolutley love.

The first is Blueberry Oatmeal Bread. I make it a couple times a week to have with coffe in the mornings. Derek loves it.

The second is Fiesta Taco Casserole. It is a little different in my cookbook. In step two I spread sour cream over the beef mixture then top with onions and cheese or whatever you want.

I love these recipes and they are easy and not too time consuming.

Hope you enjoy!

What Nobody Tells You About Having Kids

They don't tell you how stressful it is. I don't mean the not sleeping, constant crying, or terrible twos.

I'm talking about the stress of making sure your kids are getting enough Vitamin D and Calcium. That they aren't eating something toxic while your back is turned or picking the baby up while you are in the other room.

The questions are endless. Did I brush their teeth today? Do they get bathes often enough? How much juice is too much? Does Spray 'N' Wash cause permanent eye damage for a 2 year old? Is their car seat buckled in right? Are immunizations really o.k.? How much t.v. is too much t.v.? Is eating soap bad? Am I a good mother? Did I spend enough time with them? Do they know I love them? I could go on forever here.

Then there are the questions that nobody can really answer like, what brand of diapers are best? What pediatrician will be best for my child? It's so stressful.

I just have to give it all to God. I know He knows and loves my children more than I do. I have to trust that He will take care of them and send answers my way when I need them.

Almost There

Remember my post about my goals for the year? Well number 3 is almost completed. Alexander can count to 6! He doesn't like to say 1 or 2, but he does know them. I was really proud of him this morning.

He can also say his ABC's to letter D. Which is on our way to goal number 2. I know we are behind on all of this, but I'm hoping to catch up. The good thing is that Ashley does and says everything Alexander does and says so she will learn right along with him.

Not a very long post, but I thought I'd let you all know how my kids are doing.

What Was That!!?

I'm referring to the Superbowl. I'm referring to the disappointing and shocking loss of the Patriots last night.

I've said it before, but if you know me or my family you know how competitive we are. I'm like this whether I'm playing a game or just watching. The Patriots are my team, the team I've been rooting for all season. The team I watched go 16-0 in regular season play.

I will admit the Giants played a great game, but had the Patriots played like the team I watched in regular season they would have beaten the Giants. I like Eli Manning, I really do. I'm glad for him. This validates him as a quarterback.

Had you been at my house last night you probably would have mistaken me for my 2 1/2 year old son. I will just admit it. I was throwing a tantrum. I think at one point I threw one of their toys. Not one of my prouder moments. Did I mention I'm also a sore loser? I can be honest about it.

I blame the following people for the Patriots loss last night. Because like Sarah said "You have to blame somebody."

*Megan, Sarah, and my Mom-They were rooting for the Giants
*Alexander-Because before the game I asked him who we were rooting for and he said "the Giants", I think he jinxed them
*Derek-For making me care about the stupid game in the first place

That's it for now, but I'm sure more people are at fault like possibly the Patriots defense for not sacking Eli Manning on the play that gave the Giants field position to make the touchdown that put them ahead!!

I'm done venting about the game for now. If you have any comments on how bad the Patriots are or how good the Giants played, I don't want to hear them. I'm just being honest. :)

Mrs. Fix-It

It should say Mrs. Fix-It. I fixed our sink yesterday. Well not the whole sink just the spray nozzle.

I was cleaning up from dinner Tuesday night when suddenly I have no water pressure and I hear a gush down below. That's never a good sound.

I look under the sink and it is leaking everywhere. Derek took a look and the hose for spray nozzle had torn. He turned the water off and there was nothing else we could do until morning. I was really disappointed that I couldn't finish the dishes.

The next morning we made our coffee from the bathroom sink, which was a lot of fun. Then Derek ran to Ace hardware and picked up a spray hose kit and some thread tape. He didn't have time to install it before work so there I was without water and I thought to myself, I could do it.

There wasn't a man around growing up so we watched my Mom do the repairs that she could. She always tried even if it wasn't always successful.

I repaired the spray hose while the kids took their nap. It didn't even leak. I was pretty proud of myself and the best thing was Derek was proud of me too.